Hormonal Rollercoaster
by HarrySnape1989
Summary: Old insecurities surface in the Potter Snape couple. A mistake has some dangerous consequences on Harry's confidence and Severus' self perception. Warnings: MPreg and slash. Established Relationship. WIP Fluffyness
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One:

Tribulations 

Disclaimer: This work has been inspired by JK Rowling's series. I hold no claim to the characters. Their actions are dictated by the plot and that is mine.

Harry was waiting for one Draco Malfoy to make and appearance into the Snape Manor sitting room.

"Oi, Potter, I'm here, now tell me: why did I just have to interrupt my vacation to Italy? What was so important?"

"Well Draco, you know how Sev and I have been bonded for the last two years right? Do you think he loves me, like really really really love to the end of the world and back and that he'd do anything for me?"

"Yes, I think so Harry, he wouldn't have bonded to you if he hadn't."

Draco hid an exasperated sigh, it wasn't unusual that Harry had his bouts of worthlessness, but this time there was a desperate tinge that was really hard to ignore. He was fairly sure that Harry and Sev were doing okay. The last news had been good. Sev was busy trying to improve the Wolfsbane Potion and so far it seemed to be working. And Harry's work at the wizarding orphanage in London was going well. So what had brought on this bout? Harry just sat there wringing his hands looking as if the world was falling apart.

"Draco, I'm scared that he won't love me anymore."

"Why is that Harry?" 

"Because I didn't use a contraceptive spell two weeks ago…and I have a few symptoms that indicate I might be pregnant. As you know a wizard's pregnancy shows sooner than a witch's…we never even discussed children Draco! I know that I want some, hell; I'd love to have a bunch of them! I love children so much! But I don't know about him! I had meant to bring it up next year or something. He seems to hate children… look at the way he was acting with us. I know that he had to keep his spy status undercover, but now that the war is over and Voldemort defeated, he still acts likes he hates children. I know Sev is a good man; I wouldn't have loved him or bonded with him if that wasn't the case but I can't imagine his reaction over this. I know he loves me, but is he ready to accept a child into our home?"

He just sat there, looking miserable and worried. This wasn't so bad. I didn't know how Severus would react but I'm sure it wouldn't be too bad.

"Harry, do you want me to run a diagnostic spell on you to verify if you are indeed pregnant?"

"I would be very grateful for it Draco. Thank you."

"If we find you out to be pregnant Harry, I want you to schedule an appointment to Poppy for as soon as possible. Male pregnancies are a best risky so you have to be tremendously careful."

While he had been talking, he had cast the spell.

"Yes, I know Draco. So what does it say?"

"Well, it seems the Potter-Snape family will extend by November, Harry. Now, before you go into full worrying mode, I want you to relax for a few moments. Take a few deep breaths. That's it. Now, I want you to do something. You will go down to your lover's lab, yes, now, and you will announce it to him. Make sure he is seated at first and not brewing some elicit potion, we wouldn't want to cause an accident that would cause your child to be one father short, would we? Now are you ready? Then go. Floo me tonight to tell me how it went, okay Harry? If he doesn't react well, feel free to come over, you know you're always welcome. Blaise won't mind, I'll talk to him. Good luck Harry." 

And with that, Draco Apparated out, not leaving Harry a chance to protest. Harry made up his mind to go. He'd rather find out sooner than later, he would save himself some worrying and some pain. He was still scared shitless though. He took the longest route to the dungeons, where Sev's lab was located and walked slowly. He took a few deep breaths to fortify himself before pushing the door open. There was Sev, looming over a simmering cauldron, a concentration frown on his face as he observed the potion's consistency and watched for any adverse effects. 

Harry cleared his throat softly, to alert Sev of his presence. Sev whirled around to see Harry watching him with a small smile on his face but with no small amount of apprehension in his bright green eyes. He immediately wondered what was wrong. It wasn't reassuring when Harry just shifted foot to foot without uttering one word. Finally loosing patience, Sev spoke up:

"What's wrong, Harry? Did you come ask me for something?"

"Sev, you'd better sit and put your potion in stasis, it might take a while and I have no clue how you'll react." He finally blurted out.

Now Sev was really scared. What was so wrong that he needed to sit and that would cause Harry, _his _Harry, to have that look in to his eyes? He put his potion in stasis and went in the adjoining room to sit at a small coffee table. Harry followed him in and closed the door behind him.

He sat down and they stared at each other. Harry sat in front of Sev because he felt he needed to look at his husband while saying it. If he was snuggled against Sev he might get distracted and Sev might not take him as seriously.

"Sev, you remember the time two weeks ago when we…. Um yeah?"

"Yes Harry, I seem to remember that you were quite sore for the days after and you refused to put on some healing ointment because you said you wanted to remember one of the best shags of your life." Sev's eyebrow rose in amusement as Harry's face flushed a brilliant red. 

Seriously, the man was one of the shiest men he had ever met, while they made love, Harry was not prudish in anyway but when they happened to talk about it, Harry's face would flush and he'd start stuttering worst than Longbottom. It was quite funny actually.

"Yeah, well it was pretty intense and amazing and great and you were fantastic…"

"Harry, I'm sure you didn't come here to enumerate my sexual prowesses and I'm quite confident in them since you tell me so often. Now, tell me what's so wrong that you had to interrupt me while I was working with a highly volatile potion."

Harry looked abashed for a second but quickly pulled himself together. Sensing Sev's impatience he started talking.

"Well, you remember how it went? You had me on my back before I could even blink and what you were doing to me was indescribable. I had lost my mind those few seconds you had me writhing under you and all logical thoughts had escaped me. I forgot the Contraceptive spell. I..I Floo-ed Draco barely half an hour ago to have him run a diagnostic spell on me. 

I'm pregnant Sev!"

Whatever Sev had been expecting when Harry came into the lab was not to be told of his impending fatherhood. He sat there with a flabbergasted look on his face, trying to assimilate what that meant. He couldn't believe it…a child! Him and a child! That was a disaster in the making. The only experience he had with infants had been with Draco and that had been horrible enough. He couldn't imagine himself being a father to anyone. Harry yes, Merlin knows how he loved children but Severus was not sure it was a good idea. 

He looked at Harry who sat there with a worried look in his face a small amount of hope and a great amount of fear in his eyes. That was why he had been so apprehensive. They had never talked about children, well except the kids at the orphanage, Harry loved them so much. He knew Harry would love to have this baby but Severus wasn't sure if he could help bring up a child. 

"Harry, I don't know what to say…this is totally unexpected but I don't blame you for forgetting the Contraceptive Spell. It is as well your responsibility as it is mine."

Harry let out a small sigh of relief.

"But I don't know about the baby…I'm not sure I would make a good father and we never talked about children. I'm not ready for it. I don't think I want to raise a child in an environment where it isn't wanted…"

Harry straightens up and glares at me. 

"_He_'s very much wanted by at least one of _his_ parents I'll have you know. He isn't an _It_, no matter what you might think. Can we at least discuss this or have you made up your mind to not accept the child?"

"I don't know Harry, let me think on this. I know you want him, that much is obvious but I really need to think about it. I'm not very inclined towards a yes at the moment."

Harry's shoulders slump in defeat already resigned to the fact he might never be a father. Tears started to gather in his eyes as he hastily made his way out of the lab. He didn't want Sev to see him crying about this. 

He loved Severus very much. He was so torn. What would he do if Sev wanted him to terminate the pregnancy? Would he leave him and raise his baby alone? Or would he abort it? He knew in his hearts of hearts that he never would be able to abort it, or give it up for adoption and even less, give him to an orphanage. For him getting rid of a child would never be an option. Would he have to leave Sev in order to raise their child? He couldn't imagine himself doing that. Still crying, he made an overnight bag to go to Draco's and Blaise's place. He left Sev a note on the mantel of the fireplace in the sitting room explaining where he was. 

He told Natty, his personal house-elf, to make sure Sev got the note and not worry about him needlessly. He dried his tears before throwing the powder as it wouldn't do to come out at the wrong grate. He called out 'Malfoy Loft, Italy' and was gone in a flash of green fire.

At the Loft, Draco heard the Floo activate and a moment later he saw Harry's form stumble through. He had never gotten the hang of Wizarding transportation systems. He had troubles with landing when Apparating too. 

What he saw though when Harry straightened up, made his heart lurch. Harry had obviously been crying his eyes were red and sad. Did that mean Sev had refused and Harry had to get aborted? He knew this would devastate Harry. Harry would adopt every homeless child if he could. He loved them that much and Merlin knows that he has enough heart to be able to love them all. Draco figured it had been one of the consequences of his relatives' neglect and abuse in Harry's childhood. 

Harry threw himself in Draco's arms, seeking comfort. It was a habit they had started when a truce had been called between them when Draco offered to spy for the Light side. Harry and he had become very good friends and they were always there for each other. He gathered Harry close and let him sob his heart out before talking to him. He wouldn't be able to get a coherent explanation otherwise. 

A few moments later, they were still in their embrace. Harry really seemed to be taking this hard. Draco knew that if Sev didn't want the child, Harry probably would never get over it. They really were in between a rock and a hard place. He didn't envy Harry's position at the moment.

Harry reigned in his emotions and separated himself a bit from Draco. Draco let him go, knowing that Harry had to gather his thoughts.

"So Harry, want to tell me what's going on? What did Severus say?"

"He said that it was really unexpected after staying quiet for a long time, though he did say it wasn't my fault that I forgot the Contraceptive spell. He said that he wasn't really inclined to raise a child when it wasn't wanted, he called the baby an _It_, Draco! And I said that is was unexpected not unwanted. He said he had to think about it but that he wasn't really inclined towards a 'yes' yet. That's really horrible Dray! What if he doesn't want him? What will I do then? Will he force me to get him aborted? Or will I have to leave Sev to raise him? I don't want to do that 'cause I love Sev, but I don't want to get rid of a child!"

"Oh, Harry! I don't know what to say! I think you should wait until he has made his decision to worry about what you'll do, but I know that you can't really do anything else. I would want to say that everything will fix itself, or some other crappy phrase but it won't help because I know how Sev can be stubborn when he wants to…"

"I know Sev, he will convince himself that he can't do it, that it will never work and he will decide not to keep him. But I don't know what to do to make him see that he'd be a wonderful father. He's so caring to the ones he loves! He'll do everything in his power to make him happy, but he'll just remember what he was and let that weigh him down. I'm just so scared Draco! I don't know what to do! I don't know what I'll do!"

Draco was at a loss. The situation was serious. If only Sev and Harry weren't such powerful wizards, if they weren't, they would need the normal Contraceptive Potion to have children, like gay wizards and witches used. Because of their power, they didn't need to use the Potion. Anyways, this was going to be a hard time for their couple, and Draco would do everything in his power to help the two stubborn men stay together.

"Harry, you told me that Sev is convinced he'll never be a good father because of his past, why don't you ask one of your Gryffindor friends to baby-sit one of their kids for the day and ask Sev to take part in it? Like that you would get hands-on experience and Sev might be reassured."

"That's a good idea, Dray, I hope he'll accept it because I really don't know what to do to convince he'd make a good dad…just look at how long it took us to get together, under the pretence that he was an ex Death Eater spy and I, the Boy-Who-Lived. No matter that he had gotten honoured with the Order of Merlin, First Class for his spying years…"

"Draco, dinner is going to be ready in five minutes. Oh hello Harry. Will you be joining us then?"

"Yes, I'll be joining you, if it's all the same to you. I don't think I can return home tonight…"

If Blaise found it weird to find Harry in his lover's arms, he didn't say anything. The friendship between Harry and Dray was strong and he had never questioned it. He never had had the reason to. He didn't question Draco as to why Harry was there, it was clearly not the time, Harry looked to be torn apart and Draco would tell him eventually what was wrong. He knew he could trust Draco to tell him what is going when the time was right. 

7

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I do not own the Potter-verse. I am just playing around with the characters a bit.

A/N: I'm a new writer, thus feed back feels very important to me. I would love to know what you think. I'd like to thank breannatala, mikesh and Hendrick248858 for reviewing already. Thank you to everyone that has subscribed to me. It warms me heart to know that you care enough about this story to subscribe to it! So here is some more!

I cannot help but be grateful that Blaise has such a comprehensive nature as I lay in Dray's arms leeching comfort from him. I know I am acting irrationally but I also know myself. I would not be able to leave Severus. I would also not be able to abort an unborn child because I am already attached to him. The fact that Severus might make me face this is stressful. And stress isn't good for babies. I'd hate to be confronted to such a choice.

The thoughts are just running in my head without any resolution and I've just about had enough. Draco is seemingly the same advice because he moves to get up.

"So Harry, do you feel better, now that you have thoroughly wet my shirt?"

The amused glint in his eyes told Harry he was just joking. In his highly agitated state Harry would have taken him seriously.

"Now that you mention Dray, I feel like a new man! And what better way is there to start afresh than wetting your expensive Italian silk shirt? I could do with some eating!"

Harry now felt positively giddy, he was still worried but he had learnt after many months of intense Occlumency practice with Severus to compartmentalize his thoughts so that he could concentrate on more important issues. He could not allow his health to deteriorate just after learning he was pregnant that would just not do. It would be highly irresponsible and he thought himself as being responsible. He saw so many cases of carelessness towards children at the orphanage that it sometimes broke his heart and he never wanted to act like that towards his own child. So, even if his stomach was protesting rather violently the thought of food at the moment, he brought himself to eat and do what was right. No matter the outcome, he would never let himself be blamed for not caring about this child.

Severus meanwhile at the Manor had not moved from his place in his Lab. His potion would be ruined but that did not seem important in face of the news he had received less than an hour ago. The fact that his bonded was pregnant was still not sinking in. He didn't blame him. Why should he? It was as much his responsibility as Harry's to think of the Contraceptive Spell. He knew that if he asked his lover to abort it—no, the child, he'd probably leave Harry forever. He didn't think that Harry would leave but he knew he'd succumb to depression and their couple would crumble to nothingness in the end. And such an eventuality scared him. He loved Harry with all his heart. He knew his lover was a bit too dependent on him and his love but Severus couldn't really blame him. With the kind of upbringing he'd had with the Dursleys or should he say lack thereof he could understand Harry's attitude quite well. And he'd never hold any of this against him. Or else he'd never have married the man. But he should have searched a more permanent solution to Harry's fertility, because he now was presented with a problem he'd never wanted to face, because it made him contemplate too many things and the risk of losing Harry in the midst of all these doubts was scary. But did he really want to saddle himself with a child so late in his life? That was the question, for this was not a decision he had to make solely on his feelings towards Harry or else he'd live to regret it. The decision was already hard enough to make without considering his lover but the situation he was faced with was far from agreeable. He knew that he could be patient and Merlin forbid_, kind_ but would he have the same sort of temperament towards a child? The children who he dealt with were never younger than eleven and everyone knew how that turned out. He never really had patience towards snot-nosed kids who expected everyone else to wipe there spoilt arses. Hell he never had patience towards any kids. The only times he had any experience with an infant was when Draco Malfoy was one and that wasn't an experience he wanted to repeat any time soon. He had dreamt of pureed fruit and house-elves for months after that, let's just say that since then he knew that Draco had a very creative mind and that crazy house-elves and spoilt children did not mix. At all. He was scared that he'd never be able to raise a kid though. He didn't have any reliable example to do so. His own childhood was far from heavenly. From a Muggle father who couldn't appreciate everything his Mother did for him and a backless Mother who never stood in the way of his Father when he was on his high-horse, treating them like shit because they happened to have magic. As he didn't have any reliable example as to how to act with a child, though he had plenty on how not to act with them he was not able to fathom how he could come to rely on himself when he didn't trust himself with a child. He could rely on Harry yes, but he was independent. He didn't want to rely on Harry on everything. He would come to resent his loss of independence and they would not be better off.

Nonetheless, Severus was just nonplussed as to how to act towards the situation. He had heard the tell-tale whoosh of someone floo-ing out of the Manor, and the tingling of the wards had warned him of Harry's departure. He knew that he'd have to go find Harry at one of the Malfoy residences and bring him back home. He knew he had to make the first steps as it would show, either way, that he was serious about whatever decision he had taken. Since the War, Harry's relationship with his Godson was very brotherly and yet more so, since they chose to be brothers they held a very close bond to one another, they were very intimate, yet in a platonic way. At first Severus upon seeing them together was filled with jealous rages like he'd never felt before. He had taken countless points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin for the idiocies he usually accused Gryffindor of. Both houses were incredulous and the Headmaster had many times convoked him to his office to ask what was going on. How could he tell that he lusted after Harry Potter, a boy whom everyone thought he hated? It just wasn't heard. The Headmaster had finally put the clues together, since the Headmaster knew Severus like no other and told him to take his head from his arse and either confront his feelings or act in a less childish way and stop abusing his position. He had confronted both his Godson and Harry to find out to his horror of the things Harry had gone through in his life. His Godson had been the only one that had accepted Harry the way he was. The Gryffindors almost had all turned their backs on their precious Saviour when his sexuality had come out; shattering the happy scenario of the white picket fence and wife with happy little Potters running all around. The only one who had stood by Harry against his House had been Neville Longbottom, surprisingly. The quiet strength the boy possessed left Severus speechless on more than one occasion when Longbottom had been able to surprise him. But this was neither here or there.

A/N sorry for leaving it at such an awkward place but I can't write any for this chappie and I'm quite tired at the moment so I just thought I'd post this to show I'm still alive ! tell me what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The usual **disclaimer:** I wish I did but I don't own the wonderful universe of Harry Potter. Or else I wouldn't be living in the financial hell I am at the moment. It all belongs to JK Rowling…unfortunately.

**A/N**: My apologies for the long wait on this chapter. I've been enormously busy lately and I admit I had little motivation to write. So I'm really sorry.

Julianne

Draco, Blaise and I sat down at the table to tuck in the marvelous meal Blaise had prepared. It was a rare treat when Blaise cooked as he is a wonderful cook. His Italian roots showed themselves in the delicious shrimp risotto with a generous minestrone soup and a creamy tiramisu pastry. My mouth was watering at the mere smell of it. There was little conversation as we ate except for the voicing of our appreciation and appreciate it we did. I ate seconds as I rarely do; I blame it all on the pregnancy.

Draco and I washed the dishes since so much work had gone into the preparation of the meal; we deemed it necessary that Blaise take a break after all the hard work he put in making dinner. We washed them by hand since the Malfoy Loft had no house-elves. Anyways, manual work had never hurt anybody and it did Draco a world of good to do some since it taught him not to rely too much on house-elves.

Draco and I have been close since sixth year, after the death of Sirius. I was very despondent that year, the Gryffindors did not understand what I was going through and brought me down by smothering me and offering endless support when all I really wanted was my Godfather back and since it was not possible; I wanted to at least deal with my grief alone.

Unfortunately, this caused a rift between Ron, Hermione and I, as great friends as they were they were not able to understand my need of being alone and they took it personally, saying that I was distancing myself from them. Which at the time was true, of course, but they had just started realizing that they had feelings for one another and I didn't want to taint their attempt at a relationship with my depressive and sour moods.

So I distanced myself, left alone with more and more morbid thoughts everyday, I couldn't sleep at night, the nightmares were horrible, and my thoughts did not give me a moment's rest. I kept walking the castle, in hopes of burning enough energy so that I could either fall asleep or unconscious due to the lack of sleep and anything related to nutrition for the past two weeks. Plagued by the visions and nightmares Voldemort kept sending me, as I had never mastered Occlumency and I did not have the energy on hand to go and face Snape for that abuse...oops excuse me, lessons. My grief too fresh, I felt as if he would take pleasure from it, as he had a reason to hate Sirius, as loathe as I am to admit it.

Of course, as my life was the way it was, it all came to a head, quite luckily too. My already anemic body could not take much more maltreatment. I was already anorexic, that I had known for a long time. Between my Uncle's forced starvations, the disgust I felt whenever I saw Dudley pig-out, which was indeed all the time. My stressful life too, contributed to lack of food, whenever I was too pre-occupied of worried or whatever emotions, I went without food. I also didn't want to resemble my cousin. Never eating a lot, my body never got the nutrients and vitamins needed to function, my magic the only thing keeping my main organs alive as most of the minor ones had went into shutdown. In my attempts to go to sleep, one night I had forgotten the Marauder's Map, stupidly leaving it on my bed, thus I couldn't know who I was roaming the halls with.

Apparently, Snape was on one of his own night patrols and I had the unlucky thought of wandering the dungeons.

My weak frame, already bordering on exhaustion, was further weakened by the strenuous descent into the dungeons.

The air pressure is different there, due to the numerous charms and wards cast by paranoid Slytherin Heads over the years, with good reason of course, as Slytherins are still viewed in a bad light. A normal, healthy wizard should have no trouble with the change of magical pressures since his magic will adjust automatically. Since my own was already supplying my organs with their much needed energy, my magic didn't assimilate the change in pressure, thus creating a pressure on my lungs, the deeper I went, the more pressure was applied. So deep was I in my reminiscences, that I never noticed, until I couldn't breath. I struggled for a few moments, finally giving in.

When I woke, I was tied to numerous tubes in the Hospital wing. Severus had been ranting to Draco about how he had never noticed my deteriorating health and what a fine friend he made for never forcing me to the Wing before something bad could happen. Draco stubbornly stated that if he would have done so, I most likely never would have trusted him again. He then said that that approach was way too Gryffindor for his tastes and proceeded to tell Snape that he had been slipping Nutrient Potions in my meals, as few as they were, with the help of Dobby.

That is what opened Snape's eyes to my reality and not the fake one down in History books and the Daily Prophet. From then on, Snape slowly became Severus as I slowly recovered to become the only other person to share the name Snape.

I shook myself of my reminiscences and look around, only to realize the fire in the Loft had been dimmed and that Blaise and Draco were quietly conversing in a corner of the sitting room. I was sitting by the fire in a very comfortable armchair. It goes without saying that THE Draco Malfoy always had the most comfortable, fashionable furniture ever made.

I rose from the warmth of the fire, bid goodnight to my hosts, receiving warm smiles in return. I could see in the couple's eyes that they were worried about me and in truth I was too. I could see that Draco was mad at Severus for the pain and conflicting emotions he caused me, but I cannot blame my husband. I knew this was a possible reaction and though it hurt, I would never resent Severus for this because it makes him who he is. To change the essence of his self would change him and I married him because of that essence so there is no point in trying to change him.

I lie in the cold of my bed at the Loft. The emptiness at my side more pronounced than ever before, because I know that it isn't just because Severus is working on his research and that the outcome of the days to come may change our futures forever.

**A/N:** I will leave it at that, I am satisfied with this chapter though I am really sorry for the time it took me for uploading it. I was prompted by Laurenke1 who continues to be a source of inspiration and a wealth of marvelous fics! Thank you :) .


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not mine

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(The dots indicate my insane fit at the realisation)

This bout of writing has been inspired by two HPDM authors, funnily enough, since I almost never read HPDM except for a select few. The first is Eyesemerald, on Livejournal, who has made me realise that I should take advantage of my good health to write and do all things I enjoy. The other is Kimberjingle, she posts on an independent site and writes novel length fics. She is phenomenal but I hate that I can't give her feedback…grrr.

The next few days passed by in a flurry of activities. The couple was convinced that if I was left alone for more than two minutes I'd become depressed or something. Which I wasn't, why should I be? I was worried, incredibly so and with reason, but why should I be depressed? I have always wanted a child, children—whatever number I can deal with. I won't allow myself to become overly stressed out by what-ifs when there is nothing definitive decided and I won't know for sure what course to take. Becoming stressed out and depressed would only harm the baby and I would never hurt a child, not if it is in my power to prevent it.

Draco and I talked a bit more about the baby but I didn't want to talk much about it since I became too worried, though he did force me to see Madam Pomfrey on the first occasion. I am on my way there at this moment, the butterflies in my stomach evolving to seagulls. My steps echo loudly in the grand hallway leading to the Hospital Wing. Matching the loudness of my steps is the furious tattoo of my heart, beating so fast it may burst. I feel an anxiety attack coming on and I must stop it before it takes control over me. I slow down, after all I am in no hurry and my appointment is not for another fifteen minutes.

If Severus had been here I would have popped down in the dungeons to go see him but that was not the case. Since Severus and I have bonded, he takes one weekend per month to come to the Manor and work on personal research, as the school setting doesn't do wonders for the careful considerations and concentration it takes to brew and experiment.

As this is his "free" weekend, he is not here. It feels good to be at Hogwarts, the ambient magic is as it always was; homey feeling, welcoming and warm. It has such a presence that it feels human, the magic here is the most personified and the most fulfilled I have ever felt. It feels incredible to be here once again and bathe in this motherly presence; a balm to my torn conscience and worried mind.

I arrive to the great double doors that open to the Infirmary. Madam Pomfrey seems to be filling some injury report as is her due. I must have had such a handful of these whilst at school! She looks up as the door to her domain opens and looks to me as if undecided between amusement and exasperation at seeing me once more in the Hospital Wing. I can tell that she is wondering why I am here on my own volition and not kicking and screaming to all asunder that I am fine and in no need of medical treatment.

I smile at her warmly and she smiles back, relieved that everything seems fine with me. She leads me to my bed, at the back of the Wing and directs me to sit and remove my over-robe. I usually don't bother with one but I always felt uncomfortable at Hogwarts without one.

"So Mr. Potter, tell me why you have graced me with your delightful presence on this May Day? I assume that it is not for an injury since you seem to be fine."

"Well, Poppy a couple of days ago I have heard the joyful news that I might be with child and I want you to confirm this as well as advise me to which trustworthy Mediwizard I might see and I want to know what to expect during the next few months as I have heard that male pregnancies are very difficult."

She cast a more elaborate Diagnostic Charm than Draco had, this one probably to determine my vitals as well as the child's and determine if my pregnancy is going as it should.

"Tell me Harry, why is Severus not with you?"

"It is his off weekend and is probably at the Manor Working on the Wolfsbane…again, he's been on this since Remus succumbed to the curse two years ago."

I carefully avoided inflection in my voice lest she suspects the hurt I feel that Severus has not yet come around to see me. Though as sharp as she is I should have known this was a futile endeavour and I could see that she suspected more but she luckily did not ask questions and I am grateful of that.

"Well Harry, you are indeed pregnant, though you knew that already. The baby is fine as well. Because of your anaemia, you will have to be even more careful. Your health has always been fragile and it will be even more so during the next seven months. You most not be put under any stress Harry. I would advise you to stop working at the orphanage for the moment since you will be susceptible to all diseases out there and children are a magnet to them. I know this will not be easy on you but you must do this if you plan on carrying the baby to term and remain healthy all the same.

You will ask to Severus to brew you a diluted Nutritional Potion as you will need all the nutrients you can get because this will be hard on you Harry. You will start the morning sickness within the week. We term it morning sickness but expect it during any time of the day. Your ankles will swell your lower back ache your bladder will be incessantly full. But luckily that is in the later months. You will most probably be uncomfortable in the summer heat. That will be uncomfortable but the baby will not be fully developed until fall so you will not have that much added weight during the summer months.

As for a Mediwizard, I can serve as one, I am a school Healer but I did work in the birthing wing of St-Mungo's so you do not need to see a stranger, I know how leery you and Severus are about that. But if you would prefer I can contact one of my close colleagues to see if she would see you at her own private Clinique."

"No, that is alright Poppy; I would rather use your services as a Mediwizard please. I am sure your colleague is trustworthy but I'd rather be with you. As for the symptoms, I was aware of them and a bit apprehensive but I'll live through it. When will I need to start consuming the diluted Nutritional Potion?"

"As soon as possible, Harry. The baby is already creating a strain on your health and energy levels, as I'm sure you've noticed. You will have less stamina due to the pregnancy and you are susceptible to any disease out there, thus the request to remain at home and do quiet activities. No heavy lifting and no brewing with Severus unless he tells you the fumes are not harmful to the baby. You will also NOT practice any DADA or mock duel Malfoy or any of that. As for sexual encounters, do none of the wilder things. Do not use a Contraceptive Spell on yourself during the pregnancy; it could terminate the pregnancy in a very unpleasant way."

Harry lost his colour at the images these words brought forth but forced himself to not think about it. He would have to go to Snape Manor to ask Severus for the potion and that irked him. Because it would make him seem as desperate to see Severus and he didn't want that. He also did not want Severus to think that he had given in and abandoned the thought of having the baby. Also he was a bit mad that Severus hadn't come around yet and he wanted to give Severus a piece of his mind.

"Poppy, how long can I go without the diluted Nutritional Potion?"

"A week at the latest Harry, like I said the baby is already causing a strain on you so you need to remain you energy levels high to remain healthy. Keep in mind that you have to eat three meals a day and sleep at least eight hours per night. The Potion should be taken before every meal. I am obliged to inform you that if you wish to terminate the pregnancy, it will have direct consequences on your health and you will be unable to carry another child to term. You are very at risk due to the pregnancy, but let us hope that everything will go well. I wish that you had come to see me before the conception of the baby so that you could be warned of the very serious complications on your health this will cause. What is done is done."

3


End file.
